Have you ever asked the Lord why?! Why me Lord? Why do you have me in this situation? Why am I going through this? Well, that is exactly what I was asking the Lord when He had me staying with my friend in LA. He quickly showed me that I wasn't there for myself, but for someone else. Let's rewind a bit.
Upon arriving to LA, I learned that there would be another guest staying with us. My friend's niece, who was around 14 years old. She had such a sweet spirit about her and I was excited to get to know her.
Right when I walked through her front door I was in awe at the beauty of her place. It was extremely nice, yet cozy. After a few minutes, she said that I could take the bedroom upstairs with her niece and she would just sleep on the couch (one bedroom apartment). I told her that I could sleep on the couch, but she insisted I take the bedroom. She made me speechless at her hospitality! Who gives up their own bed?
Several years ago, I went out to LA to stay with a girl I knew who had been begging me to come for a visit. I needed an agency there anyways, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to possibly get one. She told me I wouldn't even need a car, I could just ride with her everywhere. She said she would be more than happy to take me where I needed to go. I thought that was beyond sweet of her to offer this. I looked at it as an open door from the Lord to get me out there. I didn't have a lot of money then, so this was definitely a blessing.
It didn't take me long to see that she wasn't the girl I thought she was.
People have called me crazy, thought I wasn't comfortable in my own skin, and they thought I was insane for not being willing to take a little more off because I was a "model." "That's what models do, that's what modeling is about," they told me. Well, I hoped to prove them wrong.
The same thing is going on in social media. Girls taking it off for more likes, more follows. They think that by building their following, they can build their career, and that will bring them satisfaction. // Mark 8:36 // "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" Taking it off may get you more followers, just like lying, cheating may get you that promotion.
Some girls are taking it off for the follow,
but they don't see
it only makes them more hollow.
The attention makes them feel a type of way,
then it becomes an insatiable crave.
They go down the slippery slope
finding their worth in numbers
and now they can't cope.
Since my stance on #ANTM, I have often been asked what the difference is between a bathing suit and underwear are. Many people did not understand why I would wear one, but not the other. My explanation on Top Model didn't get aired and I looked aloof, although if you know me at all, you know I stand strong, bold in my convictions.
First off, I want to say that not every bathing suit I have worn, I would wear again. As a Christian, you should have a desire to grow and be more like Him. With that comes a change in your heart, the way you think. He has shown me that not all of my decisions in this area have been good in His sight.
Several years ago I had a sciatic nerve problem. I never had this issue before in my life. It affected the way I slept, sat, my workouts, and sometimes, even the way I walked. During this time I used to drive a lot to Chicago for modeling from Indianapolis. At times, the car ride became unbearable. My husband would always drive when he could because I would have to stick my left leg out to help ease the pain.
I tried putting a heat pad on my back, ice, and even went to the chiropractor a few times to adjust me. I tried any natural remedy. It was like a gnat that keeps bothering you, never leaving you alone.
I got a random call one day from production at America's Next Top Model.
I have never tasted alcohol. Yep, you read that right. Not a beer, not a sip of wine, notta. There are several reasons why.
I have seen firsthand the destruction it CAN cause. I have seen people get so twisted, that when I looked at them, I no longer saw "them." They became a different person. I've seen it tear families apart, destroy marriages, and make people think they were invincible. They not only put them self in danger, but also the lives of others. I've even seen someone put a gun to their head in a drunken rage because they were so intoxicated. That image is still hard to shake. More people get destroyed by it, than blessed. It may not be a sin to drink, but God certainly is clear about getting drunk. There are also several Scripture verses that caution us about alcohol.
Throwback and this one goes out to Tyra Banks. 😌 She sent me the sweetest message a few days ago and it touched my heart. Ever since ANTM people have constantly asked me, "how's Tyra?" Well, here ya go.
After season one aired she sent me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and told me to get my booty to NY because agencies wanted me. I used to call her randomly to check in and say hi and she would always call me back. She isn't too proud to say she's sorry. Because you know, we are all human and make mistakes. I ran into her in LA with Matthew at Yogurtland and she gave us the biggest hugs and took a few minutes to chat with us.
If you don't think God is cool then listen up. I used to pray for my future spouse often. My mom and I decided to pray together. We did that for several months. If you know my mom, you know she doesn't pray "short" prayers, so my time with her was definitely an investment! Ha! To be honest, I didn't always enjoy praying, (or with her), for it is hard work. There were times when it was a tough battle to pray. I had to fight off distractions, tiredness, and the desire to be doing something else than laboring over someone I had never met (I didn't think I had met him).
Back in the day, I was extremely infatuated with this guy I had met at my agency in Cincinnati. His looks made my heart flutter and my eyes bulge out of my head. I got so nervous just being in the same room as him. My dad happened to be there with me and he saw the look of awe that was in my eyes. He decides that embarrassing me would be a good idea. I wanted to crawl in a hole. To my complete surprise, he was actually used to encourage that guy to ask me for my number.
I am sharing my story with you because the Lord stirred me up. This part of me, I have desired to keep hidden away. I wanted it to be locked up in a vault no one could get in to. God pressed upon me that as long as I kept it a "secret," I wouldn't be able to share with others of the amazing power of the Lord Almighty.